


Sisters

by Mimi011



Category: Queen (Band)
Genre: Crack Fic, Gen, Humor, april fool's, vine references, yep I wrote this shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-01
Updated: 2019-04-01
Packaged: 2019-12-30 16:43:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18319250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mimi011/pseuds/Mimi011
Summary: The Queen boys meet James Charles!!!1!





	Sisters

Roger slammed on the breaks. Brian, John and Freddie jolted forwards in their seats, immediately awake. The squeal of the tires against the pavement sent them into a panic.

 

“What the hell- what’s going on?” Brian yelled, clutching his chest. John and Freddie peaked into the front of the van.

 

Roger pointed out the windshield. “There! On the road!”

 

Brian turned to see where the drummer was pointing. Across the road and in the ditches were hundreds of ducks. They were in the middle of nowhere, no lakes or ponds to be found. Why were there ducks here of all places?

 

Behind them, John whistled. “Look at all those chickens.”

 

“Deaky, you idiot- those aren’t chickens,” said Roger, who unbuckled himself and clambered out of the van. 

 

The band watched as Roger ran at the ducks, trying to scare them away. The waterfowl parted ways to avoid the strange man coming towards them, revealing a strange hole in the middle of the road. Roger couldn’t slow down in time and fell straight down into the hole. What a clumsy fuck.

 

“Shit, Roger!” Brian jumped out of the car and ran to the hole, Freddie and John hot on his heels. 

 

The hole seemed to go on forever. They could hear Roger’s screaming getting farther and farther away. For those of you interested, this is called the Doppler Effect. 

 

“Shit, shit! What are we going to do?” Freddie clutched at his hair.

 

“I guess we oughta find a new drummer,” John murmured.

 

“Hell no!” Brian snapped, sending John a glare. “Rog’s the best in England. We’re going after him.”

 

“After him? What do you-”

 

Before Freddie could speak another word, Brian jumped down the hole after Roger. John and Freddie starred in shock as their guitarist disappeared into the darkness.

 

“Well, you know what they say,” said John. “If all your friends jumped off a bridge-” and with that, John followed Brian’s example. 

 

“No!” Freddie yelled, watching his last remaining bandmate plummet to his death. “Oh my god, oh my god,” he paced back and forth, wondering what he was to do now.

 

Freddie couldn’t drive. He’d hoped to never find himself in a situation like this, lost and unable to drive himself home, but here he was. It would take hours to reach the next town, and by then it may be too late to save the band. What happened to Roger, Brian and John? Were they still alive? 

 

There was only one way to find out.

 

Freddie jumped down the hole.

 

\---

 

“Hi sisters!” 

 

Freddie woke with a start. In front of him stood a tall, skinny boy whose face was absolutely plastered with makeup.

 

“Wha-?” Roger began from beside him.

 

All four band members were sprawled across the ground. The entrance to the supposedly bottomless pit was a small dot of light above them.

 

“Hey babes, welcome to my fabulous home!” the stranger chirped, gesturing around the room. Everything around them was stark white. 

 

He extended his hand to Freddie. “I’m James Charles. You must be Freddie Mercury,” he said.

 

“How do you know who I am?” Freddie said, reluctantly taking James’s hand.

 

James pulled him to a stand and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. Freddie batted him away and blushed.

 

“Oh, we know all about you,” he purred. “Your songs are very popular here.”

 

“Where are we, exactly?” Brian asked.

 

James smiled widely. “Memeworld!”

 

The four men stared at James in confusion. James turned to the camera.

 

“Aprils fools!” he said before exploding into glitter, coating Queen in the sparkly substance. 

They woke up later with the van crashed into a ditch after they hit a particularly large pothole. 

 

The End.


End file.
